


Ultimate Smashing Adventures!

by DescipleofHemingway



Category: Super Smash Brothers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2020-03-20 15:46:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 24
Words: 14,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18995683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DescipleofHemingway/pseuds/DescipleofHemingway
Summary: Hello Everybody, Desciple of Hemingway here!Everest is the protagonist of this story! He, his friends, his life-partner, and his enemies all end up wound up in this adventure! All will enjoy it, clearly, as I, the great Desciple of Hemingway have written it!I would really appreciate all comments and criticisms, so consider them a request!Desciple of Hemingway over and out!





	1. Smashing Start!

Chapter 1: Smashing Start! 

 

I evaded with a spinning ground roll to the left direction. While the dodge appeared to barely prevail, for me, this move was rather elementary. What I did not expect was the follow up. The chunky silver had managed to strike me, sending me back several feet. I bounced back, however, and managed to strike by slicing my Excalibur back out at my opponent. This custom craft European sword was an exact replica of the one used by King Arthur himself. Rumor had it that it was the actual Excalibur, but that had to be impossible, as the sword was supposed to be long lost to time, right? 

Either way, the blow sent my opponent so far out, he appeared to explode into bits. He returned from above on a platform, looking quite almost as if no damage had been done to him to begin with in the first place. Everest put away his sword, as did his opponent. “I had you there, you failed to anticipate my counter-counter attack!” I gawked. “No way man, I  _ let _ you have that win. When you have been fighting as long as I have, you no longer need that stat-boosters.” This person was the Cloud Strife from the movie that would go on to create the popular Final Emblem series. He has an incredibly kind soul, and my best friend. “Not likely. I got my name, Everest, because I am the height of all fighters!” I returned. 

“Well, regardless of all that, I think you did fabulously, Cloud Strife!” From the side entered a blue haired maiden. “Although I agree you easily could have taken that match if you wanted, I must say, Everest was quite impressive. He has only been in the League for a little under a year and he is already in the upper echelon of the fighters.” The life-partner and soul-bonded-companion of Cloud Strife, Marth, the Princess of the world of Final Emblem rubbed the behind section of Cloud Strife’s ear. “That is not really fair, watching you two flirt together, third-wheeling me when my partner is not here either!” Truth be told I was a little jealous in the moment, but I was happy for them. They as a couple worked really well together. “Well, I suppose I had best go home. She is waiting on me after all!” We exchanged our farewells, and I left to return back to my home. 

As I approached my house, I saw fellow fighters Captain Falcon and Simon Belmont walk out of my house. While from different worlds, their relationship to each other is being close friends of my own life-partner and soul-bonded-companion. I high-fived-hand-slapped Simon Belmont, as he is a really cool person. I respectfully nodded toward Captain Falcon. I know she is really rather close to him, but he’s never struck me the right way…

Entering the house I finally see her. My favorite person, Charlotte, life-partner and soul-bonded-companion greeted me with the greatest of hugs. I told her of my victory today, and saw her out to her own fight happening later in that day. As I lay alone at home I think about how I have been handling myself lately. I think I am a happy person. I have many friends here in the Smash League, a loving life-partner and soul-bonded-companion, but why do I feel so hollow? I think I will go to bed early tonight. I have another match in the morning, but this time a doubles match with Charlotte, so perhaps this feeling will be gone after that thrill. 


	2. Surprising Sisterhood!

Chapter 2: Surprising Sisterhood!  


 

I’d woken up this morning. In having become woken, I prepared for the doubles match that I was to participate in. I looked over to my life-partner and soul-bonded-companion, Charlotte. She smiled at me, and I returned it in kind. Today was to be a day incomparable to any other, I was sure! We left our house together, high-five-had slapping, but as we high-five-hand slapped, we allowed our fingers to lock together as if to clasp and show our romantic inclinations toward each other publicly, the ultimate sign of only the truest of true loves. 

Upon arriving to the league arena, we meet our competitors. I was vaguely aware of one, as I had inferred it from a conversation I had previously. It was to be the Princess Marth of the world of Final Emblem. When we had talked yesterday after my complete, undisputable and decisive victory against her life-partner and soul-bonded companion, Cloud Strife, in commending me for that clear victory over Cloud Strife, had this excited glint of energy in her eye. It was clear she knew we were to fight soon. It was because of that that I was not surprised upon seeing her. What was a surprise was the other blue-haired-woman with the Princess. 

 

“Oh, Everest! You have no idea how excited I am for this!” called out Princess Marth. Although she was clearly wrong, I did not want to be rude, so I smiled and nodded to humor her, as not to hurt her feelings, even though I found it obvious. “You must be wondering who this is. This is my sister, Princess Lucina. She’s Chrom’s life-partner and soul-bonded-companion. I am sure you will get along.” After finally filling me in on the information I had been waiting to become privy to all along, I shook the hand of the Princess Lucina. We all left to our corners where we would be teleported to the map from. 

 

An announcer boomed over speakers: “Today’s maps will be played on the flat map Flat Zone. There will be no obstacles as the map is completely flat. However, the Meters will be on, so super moves are active! Especially beware, as this match will be sudden death! Each fighter only gets one man!” We were then swiftly teleported into the map. As the match started, I remained still. You see, I had an idea that was sure to blow away whoever attacked me. It was the Princess Lucina who lunged with her open blade; however, I stuck my Excalibur in the open gap in her sword, pulling it from her grasp. This is my main counter, the ability to disarm opponents and use it as my own. Now duel wielding blades, I use them to cross-cut across her body, sending her back with scraps of cloth flying. Meanwhile, Charlotte is doing well, using her whip much like the one Simon Belmont uses quite effectively. I glanced over to see her pummeling the Princess Marth, whom she had wrapped in her whip, trapped and coiled all in her whip, tied in place unable to move. I knock the Princess Marth in the direction of her older sister, and charge in their direction. Compared to yesterday’s fight, my power is triple. This is because fighting without Charlotte limits my full power, just like the Ice Climber duo, even though they are only pen pals and not actually much more than anything else. Anyway, as I arrived, I scooped up Charlotte and we exchanged a kiss, then flied to the sky. The power of our soul-bonded connection allowed us to instantly charge our meter, and we could use our ultimate attack. Burning notebooks full of scrapped and rejected book ideas rained onto the Flat Zone, burning it to bits. Charlotte then snapped her fingers, and all the remaining scraps that hit the ground exploded, eviscerating our inferior competition. The game was ours.  


	3. Chapter 3: Trouble in Paradise!

Chapter 3: Trouble in Paradise!

 

We had done it. We had claimed our own victory in the contest. The crowd was roaring, chanting our names loudly, proclaiming us as their new favorites. Smiling, we left the the Flat Zone Arena to meet our fallen competitors. There we exchanged respectful “good-game” handshakes. We did not stay longer; however, as we descided to leave and celebrate with a meal at our usual grubbing location. 

 

In time we arrived at the place. Upon walking into the Panera Bread, our food and a table were already prepared and set aside. I had called ahead to say we were on the way, but did not order because we were such regular customers that they knew our order ahead of time. Charlotte was already rather happy, as this was her favorite eatery. On her side of the table was a Southwest Chile Lime Ranch Salad with Chicken, but with only some avocado, not much at all. To drink she had a large Coca-Cola Classic. As for myself, I had prepared for me my usual of a Chicken Tortellini Alfredo Pasta Meal, which came with a Half Modern Greek Salad with Quinoa as a side dish, and a Prickly Pear Hibiscus Fresca to drink. The meal as a whole cost thirty-one-dollars-and-thirty-seven-cents, but I payed sixty-two-dollars-and-seventy-four-cents that day, leaving a one-hundred-percent-tip. 

 

The walk home was going quite swimmingly. I was enjoying it quite well myself, until my vision went black. When I awoke, all I could think of was the the immense feeling of burning against my back, and I mean burning from fire, not metaphorical burning pain. As I went to rub my back, it occured to me that my primary and dominant hand that I was going to use to rub said back was holding a letter of some sort. In opening it, I read that cursed message I will never forget, a message that haunts me to this day. It read: “CHARLOTTE IS GONE. DON’T COME AFTER HER. -H.” I fell back on the ground, and closed my eyes as if I had been knocked unconscious again as to prevent tears from leaking out of them. This is a nightmare. Charlotte was my only friend before I came to the Smash League. Before her I had a friend, but we don’t really talk anymore. I don’t know what I’d do without her. I knew I had to disobey the pacel’s demand. 

 

I scrambled to gather myself, and as I got up I saw a limber woman. “Hey you, did you happen to see anyone with Charlotte?” I asked the Witchy Woman, Bayonetta. “Indeed I saw her struggling to escape, to no avail unfortunately.” I was immediately upset, as if we were able to fight together our combined powers easily would have destroyed this no-do-gooder. Bayonetta continued: “I wasn’t able to catch them clearly, as I wasn’t wearing my glasses at the time, but it appeared to be a read-topped-fellow. I did not recognize the person at the glance I got. I do wish you luck on your journey, however!” 

 

Unfortunately, the next thing I needed to do was confront my parents about the long journey I was about to take. To leave without saying anything would be rude. They take their jobs too seriously though, with the amount of power it gives them, so I may not see them until the end of the day, so on a normal day I don’t see them at all. “I’m really sorry, moms, but my life-partner and soul-bonded-companion was taken. I know how much you two mean to each other so I’m sure you’ll understand.” The blonde and the ginger both looked at each other and nodded. “It’ll be okay Everest, do what you must. If you need any help, you’ll have the full backing of my kingdom” the Princess Peach replied. “As with mine” The Princess Daisy rebounded. I then went to bed, crying myself to sleep. 


	4. Chapter 4: The Journey May Now Begin!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, it really has been too long since my last chapter. Thankfully, my new antivirus seems to be working well, so I can write once more! Expect more regular updates of the "Ultimate Smashing Adventures!"

Chapter 4: The Journey May Now Begin!

 

I went to say goodbye to my mothers, but they were already out of the house, having left a note for me that said “Out to work in the kingdoms, good luck on your journey! XOXO -Moms.” I sighed out a rather disappointed sigh that signified my dissapointedness in them for having left me to be on my own at home yet again. I appreciated that they had this much trust in me, but it caused me to feel like an afterthought to them, despite being their own son. Joining the Smash League and Writing in my free time were activities I had to take up onto my own to fill this void of no one to hang out and around with, with no siblings to interact with with my parents gone. This only reminded me of why Charlotte was so important to me. She was the only real person I could interact with anymore to take away the loneliness. That was especially helpful since the last and first friend of mine to fill that void had left me for what will likely be forever. This caused me to stop thinking about all this and think more about the matter at hand. 

 

“A-red-topped-fellow? Whatever could that mean? I suppose the most clear and logical solution to this quandary would be to assume that the more-scantily-clad-witch intended to say that the character she described might have donned a red cap. Perhaps it’d be in my best interest to look into the Smash database for anyone who fits this description.” I pulled out my trusty “Smasher’s Tablet” that the League gives to all members for stat tracking purposes, and looked into the upcoming competitions to see if anyone competing today fit this description. “Bingo.” I muttered to myself as I saw someone matching the description. “And their competitor is Simon Belmont? I’ll have to show up early then, he owes me a solid after all.” 

 

“There is a change in scheduling today!” Boomed the loudspeaker over the stadium. “In the place of Simon Belmont today, Everest will take his place, as he has called in sick. Let us all thank Everest for showing up on such short notice to make sure your daily entertainment has continued!” The crowd cheered me on as I entered the stage, not knowing that Simon Belmont was not actually sick, but had returned his solid to me, a solid I would gladly take from him. Across the field appeared my opponent. A young chimpanzee with a red shirt and hat was across the field. My research before this match informed me that this was Diddy Kong, the younger brother of Donkey Kong who was smarter but more wily. He tended to waste food though, so I didn’t like him to begin with. As the match started I threw Excalibur directly at him, throwing him off guard. I shocked him more when he realized he couldn’t move. This is because he didn’t realize my excellent strategy of immobilizing him by pinning him down by his shirt with my Excalibur. I normally would cut straight to the chase and only attack, but this time I needed to fight with words. “You, you have a red hat! Did you take my Charlotte?” Diddy Kong just stared at me with intense fear in his eyes. “Answer you crazed chimpanzee! I know you understand human speech!” He slowly nodded the signal for no, showing me that he did not take her. Lightning my threatening stance, but keeping Excalibur in place, I continue to interrogate. “Do you know anyone who might have done it? My only clue is a red-topped-fellow, but you were my first lead.” He signed a familiar dance popularized from the internet, and with my knowledge of the artist, I realized he was implying a psychic. “I think I know who you mean. Thanks, chimp.” I pull Excalibur from the ground, keeping Diddy Kong caught on it. I fling him off so hard he flies off the end of the sword he flies out to the edge of the stage, winning me the match. “I guess I’ll have to check out this Psychic-Boy!” 


	5. Chapter 5: The-Psychic-Boy!

Chapter 5: The-Psychic-Boy!

The Smasher’s Database on my Smasher’s Tablet had informed me of this red-topped-psychic. The red-topped-psychic was indeed Ness, the Psychic-Boy. Further research showed that everyone from his world were direct siblings born to some greater female deity, thus inciting the name for their world, The World of Mother. A blonde fighter was also from this world, but he was of no concern to me. I only needed to hunt down this “Ness” character that the Diddy Kong had directed me to. The schedule he had today off, however, so it seemed it was my time to Invade His World.  


 

The World of Mother was actually quite far from my house, and while I could run there, even at my rather high top speed on foot it would take quite a while to get the The World of Mother on foot. I recalled that one Fox McCloud flew space airplanes for a living, and decide on commissioning his services to escort me to the World of Mother and back. Upon arriving, our exchanges were minimal. I paid him and we flew in his space airplane. Upon arriving to the World of Mother, I paid him my normal one-hundred-percent-tip for such services, which left him in shock. My intuition allowed me to suppose he’d never been tipped that well before. As I walked away, he called out to me. “Hey Everest, thanks! Call me up if you ever need any help. My flight service isn’t free, but cool dudes like you get a discount! Help and other services are now free for you, though!” I thanked Fox McCloud and continued on my way into the World of Mother. It appears I have made a new ally, an ally I am sure I will be able to call on in my moment of dire need.  


 

I approached the home of Ness, the Psychic-Boy. As I approached, I considered the following facts in this case: 1. Ness is a Psychic, thus the nickname “the Psychic-Boy.” This means he will be able to attack me in a way I will not be able to physically see by conventional means. To fight him would be a challenge. And 2. Ness is also a child, thus the “Boy” part of his nickname in “The Psychic-Boy.” He may even but smart for a child, but it is likely he has the mostly innocent nature of a child too. While I don’t want to freely trust him off hand in case he is the one who did this, I do need to consider a way to find out if he’s involved in the life-partner-and-soul-bonded-companion-napping of my beloved Charlotte without immediately resorting combat, especially combat with mortal consequences, seeing this fight will be outside of the League, and will not follow the typical “sumo-wrestler” ruleset standardized by the League. No, in these circumstances, someone could get seriously hurt, or potentially worse…

I knocked on the door. I had fully planned out multiple scenarios for what I could do depending on the response to my knocking on this door. It was answered, but what I did not expect who would answer it. “Why, you are Peach’s young boy, are you not?” Answered the recipient of my knocking. Her name was Zelda, she was a calligraphy enthusiast, and her hair was the color of strained peaches. I recalled her from my mothers talking, which if I recall correctly her kingdom was a rather close to theirs. I immediately felt more comfortable. “May I speak to your son?” I asked. “Which one?” she laughed. Ness, the-red-topped-Psychic-Boy!” I replied, smiling and seeing the humor in my ill-phrased-response. “He’s over there, you can talk to him if you’d like!” I went and did just that. 

As I walked in, I saw several boys in green hats, all blonde like their mother, but none the biy I was looking for. Finally I spotted him. “Ness, how are you?” I asked. “Okay.” he responded. I described the entire situation of the red-topped-man and Charlotte to him, and how it led to me. “Do you think you could lend me a hand in finding the perpetrator?” Using his psychic powers, he managed to describe a new figure, one who has other fight for him. I thanked the Psychic-Boy for his time, and carried on my way onward. 


	6. Chapter 6: Doing the Right Thing!

Chapter 6: Doing the Right Thing!

 

A red-topped-fellow whom has other fight for him? Truly an odd description. The only duo-fighters I can think of are the Ice Climbers, Rosalina and the Luma, and the Duck Hunt Dog and the Duck. None of these characters feature much red on their person at all, let alone their heads. I was stumped. To help resolve this issue, I called up my good friend, Cloud Strife, on the old telephone, mine of course being the modern mobile type. “Hey, Cloud Strife, I’m having an issue in my quest for Charlotte, can you help me out?” I described what the Psychic-Boy Ness had described to me to Cloud Strife. “Oh, I think I know who he was talking about.” Cloud Strife replied after hearing my spill about the situation.”He’s referring to the Pokemon Trainer. That guy sends out these animal-like-creatures-called Pokemon and forces them to fight for him. It’s rather brutal, honestly. I hate that the League allows him to fight like that. He has a match tomorrow, so maybe you can catch him then?” I pondered on his words for a few seconds, and then came to my Ultimately Smashing Decision that would allow me to continue this Adventure as best as I could. “Actually, I’m going to catch him on the way. No reason to wait, right? Any idea as to where he’s coming from or where he’s at now?” “Actually, he recently was seen training in The World of Mother, so you may be able to find him.” Cloud replied. I saw a giant column of fire in the distance. “Found him gotta go!” I yelled into the mobile telephone device as I hung it up, then ran toward the fire stream. 

 

As I approached I saw what looked like a Dragon shooting fire into the sky. Down below was a little plant dog being burnt to a crisp. Off to the side was the Pokemon trainer kicking a little blue turtle man. “You stupid useless turtle! Your one job was to stop the fire from hitting Ivysaur! Now he’s hurt and it’s because it’s your fault!” I was disgusted by the sight I saw. I drew Excalibur, my sword of legend (assuming it were the real Excalibur), and attempted to sneak over to the Pokemon Trainer. “You thought you could sneak up on me, eh? Okay Bring it on!” He threw the tiny turtle man over in my direction, and I went out of my way to catch him. “He doesn’t treat you beings fairly. This is not just. I will end your suffering.” I put the turtle man down. “Squirtle, you useless turtle, how dare you let him handle you. Agghhh, whatever. Charizard, burn him to a crisp!” The Charizard breathed fire at me, but the Squirtle spat water into the fire, causing the attacks to cancel out. I left the traitorous turtle man to go fight the Pokemon Trainer. “All right Pokemon Trainer, it’s time for you to pay for your crimes against animal kind!” The Pokemon Trainer scowelled. “I’m tired of people not using my name! I’m Derrick! I’m a person! Maybe I wouldn’t be so angry all the time if people called me by my name!” I wasn’t having any of his excuses, so I just attacked. My Excalibur was chucked right into his gut, causing him to double over in pain. I walked up to him. “You’re going to die from blood loss eventually. I’ll cut you open all the way and end your suffering if you can tell me where Charlotte is. Now speak, Derrick!” I was not kidding around. “I see you are not kidding around. I actually know something, but I’ll only tell you because you called me by my real name. I am not a part of the group involved in taking your Charlotte. I was invited but declined. However, think your clue over again. ‘Red-topped?’ That doesn’t mean a hat, man.” I thank Derrick for his time and slit open his stomach. It appeared I had a lot more digging to do.  


	7. A Fight for Honor!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Desciple of Hemingway Here! 
> 
> I realized I double-posted the word chapter last time. I will do my best to avoid doing that again!
> 
> Desciple of Hemingway over and out!

Chapter 7: A Fight for Honor!

 

I spent the remainder of the day looking over the Smasher’s Database as Fox McCloud flew me home. Red-topped could mean just about anything. This was growing to be such a pain! I guess I’ll have to go through everyone this could possibly apply to, one by one by one by one by one by one by one by one. This was going to take a while. The first person to really catch my attention was the only person with a headband as their headwear. The Database claimed his name was Ryu, a Japanese kung-fu-master. My Smasher’s Tablet dinged. It appears I was scheduled for a match. Bad timing. I checked to see who it was. Depending on who, I’d might have to cancel to continue my quest in the name of searching for my red-robed-robber. It was Ryu! Good fortune had shone upon me this day, so I rushed to the Smasher’s Stadium to prepare for battle. 

 

“Ladies and Gentlemen! We are proud to introduce today’s Ultimate Smashing Match! Today, rising star Everest will be pitted against the Kung-Fu-Master, Ryu! It’s sure to be an exhilarating match to the last minute, so hold onto your seats, folks!” The loudspeaker boomed. I walked out to my corner and saw Ryu walk out to his. He was wearing-the-traditional-kung-fu-master’s-garb. As he walked out, we locked eyes and he did a respectful bow. I returned the bow, bowing lower, as even though my sure victory in this match will put my above him, he is ranked above me now, making him my superior, and I need to show this kind of level of respect to other cultures. 

 

The match begins with him throwing a fireball at me, which I run around at top speed. I approach for close combat, which most would consider a mistake. However, I had done research ahead of time. In Kung-Fu, your power comes from your belt. You have to train to show you’re competent in each martial art to earn a higher power, thus the belt system. If I manage to cut Ryu’s black belt with my Excalibur, he will be powerless before me. 

 

Ryu attempts to grapple my sword, but I slice it down, a move he did not predict, as in that position most go for the stab in his experience. His belt was sliced rather cleanly. I grabbed him by his collar. “All right now, Ryu, you are what is considered ‘red-topped,’ so where is my Charlotte?” I pushed. “I have no idea what you are talking about. Why do you think that of all ‘red-topped people that I would be the one you are looking for?” replied Ryu in a heavy but wise Japanese accent. I thought this over while I held him. It was a well known fact that wise-old-kung-fu-masters don’t lie, so I took his word for it. “I’m just obligated to ask, having no leads. I’m sorry for bothering you. I’ll finish this.” I brought him over to the edge of the stage dropping him, winning me the match. 

 

As I was leaving, Ryu approached me from behind. “Everest-san, I have consulted the ancient scrolls, and I must inform you that something great awaits you. Go to the Shrine of Sarasaland. It is there that you will find a great secret that will aid you in your journey. Only you can harness this power. Now go forth, and do honor unto your family name!” “Thank you, Ryu-san. I will undergo this quest.” 


	8. Behind the Scenes!

Chapter 8: Behind the Scenes! 

 

Meanwhile, in another place, somewhat far from Everest, unbeknownst to him but soon to become knownst to us, something terrible was happening that would forever change the nature of this journey. 

 

The sounds of a young-woman struggling could be heard. Something clearly terrible was afoot, but unfortunately no one was there to hear it. No one but the girl and those with ill intentions for her, it seemed. “Let go of me and let me go home, right now!” screamed this younger-looking-woman. The two men dragging her laughed maniacally. A man masked in red and a blonde, somewhat chubbier guy were dragging their victim to their boss’ lair. After a long walk of dragging their screaming and struggling victim with them, they entered a large overhanging entrance into what appeared to be a rather elaborate building. 

 

Large metal doors creaked open as the two kidnappers entered the main room, and slowly squealed shut behind them. A figure that could not be seen from within shadows laughed ominously as his two henchmen dropped the girl on the ground brutally. “Remove the burlap sack from her head. I want her to see what we do to her. It’ll make afterward all the more enjoyable for us after the plan has succeeded.” The red-masked-man pulled off the burlap sack, and in doing so revealed the identity of the kidnapped young-woman. It was Charlotte. Her face was covered in cuts and bruises all over. She looked up to the red-masked-man with a look of complete and utter shock and horror. “I-I-I-... I t-trusted you. I thought we wuh-were… friends?” Charlotte could barely speak. She struggled to make her words come out. She was completely terrified. The man hidden in the shadows laughed maniacally, yet forebodingly. He turned to the younger-blonder-henchman. “Harrison, I’d like you to be the first to try this out. Since you idolize me so much, I trust you to do this job.” 

 

The man in the shadows tossed a plus-shaped device on the ground at the feet of Harrison. Harrison smiled, as he knew what this was, having kept up with the project while it was in production. “This is the Cross-Enhancer, isn’t it, boss? Thinking back to the project records, it’s meant to make the subject it’s used on be completely changed, making them blindly loyal to you and your cause.” Harrison stopped, his grin diminishing. “It also has a second effect. This is why you chose me, right? With no offense, I’m not interested in that. I still would like the mission to be completed, so would you be offended if I passed the Cross-Enhancer to our masked friend here?” The man hidden in the shadows looked taken aback. “I suppose that would be okay. Perhaps some time in the future we’ll find someone suitable for you.” Harrison passed over the Cross-Enhancer to the red-masked-man. The red masked man gripped the Cross-Enhancer by the long end, and placed the end of it on Charlotte’s nape. 

 

“GWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!”

Charlotte bellowed out what is likely the most bloodcurdling scream in all of human history. Without a moment in between the scream ending and the still silence after, Charlotte became unconscious. The deed was done. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Desciple of Hemingway here! 
> 
> I need to make a public apology in my absence this last day. I know this is a writing exercise of mine, but I have also amassed a following I wish to respect with my regular daily upload. Yesterday no update was made, despite a presence on the Archive. Yesterday, I chose to check myself into a hospital for the mind. I was suffering with some personal issues, and yesterday it resulted in what I believe the nice doctor woman referred to as an "attack." This afternoon, not terribly long after the doctors finally got a hold of one of my mothers, they checked me out of the institution, claiming no son of theirs was ill. They were in a rush to get me home, but I take comfort in being told I am well. If I wasn't I doubt I'd be able to write after all. She quickly went back to work and after my time-out I went back to writing. I thank you all for your patience. 
> 
> Descpile of Hemingway over and out!


	9. Staying the Night!

Chapter 9: Staying the Night! 

 

Sarasaland, huh? That’s where mom is from, I thought to myself, considering the wise words of Master-Ryu-san. I decided to spend the night at a hotel and gather my thoughts. 

 

I walked into the hotel and approached the desk. In front of me was a small yellow dog. “Hello! I’m Isabelle, and I’m the hotel secretary! How may I help you?” She politely asked me. “I need a room for the night, as you can see it’s getting late!” We both laughed. Despite being a normal conversation, my natural charm had us both laughing at the simple things. We calmed down. “I’m also going to need to borrow a phone. Mine is low on battery. Embarrassing, I know.” She smiled at me and passed over the desk phone. “I’ll be heading up to your room to ready it. The key is on the phone as well. Adieu~~~”

 

I was somewhat uncomfortable, as the young dog was clearly flirting with me. I was a happy-and-spoken-for-man, so it was odd. I suppose I wasn’t physically marked as such though, so I’ll forgive her for not knowing better. Either way, I checked the phone in front of me. It appeared to be an old-school-style-rotary-phone. Placed upon it was an actual key, not one of those card-keys you usually see at a hotel. I picked up my keys and went to place them within my pocket. I picked up the phone and began to dial. I hoped my mother, the Princess Daisy of Sarasaland, wouldn’t be too busy to pick up the phone and take a call from her own son? 

 

I dialed the number on the phone, spinning the rotary on it as you would with a rotary phone. “Hello, is this my mother?” I replied into the phone. “Ernest? It’s odd to hear your voice in the work day. What can I do for you?” She answered back. “I need to get to the Shrine of Sarasaland. I was informed of a legend involving it, and I wanted to investigate. I was told it would help me on my journey.” My mother was silent for a few moments. “Okay then, sweetheart. I send out a royal carriage to escort you over, it will arrive in the morning.” I thanked her for the motherly-royal-favor, and hung up the-phone. I went to my room for the night and slept. I was still as a rock over the night, as I was exhausted from all the fighting I’d done today. 

 

I woke up to a knock on my door. “Unnghh… who is it?” I tiredly attempted to yell across the room, mumbling and only half awake. “Room service!” yelled the door. I recognized the voice as Isabelle, the young-dog-secretary-lady from the front-desk-last-evening. “Come in…” I retorted back. The door opened and Isabelle came in with cleaning supplies. I got out of bed and realized that I allowed someone to walk into my room with my pajamas on. Bad judgement on my part, that was embarrassing. Worst of all was the fact that my shirt was off, as I’d removed it mid-night to cool down as the room was rather warm. I rushed to the nearby restroom with a change of clothes, but notices Isabelle attempt to cover her blush some. As I dressed, I informed her that I was leaving then and there, and that I was leaving the keys by the sink. I didn’t inform her of the tip I’d left. This time, I changed it up from my usual. I left a-one-hundred-and-fifty-percent-tip. This was to apologize for the embarrassment that was the scene. I knew I’d have to apologize personally to Charlotte for this too, as even though she had no idea this happened, it was my responsibility as her life-partner-and-soul-bonded-companion to disclose this and let her know I was loyal to her and only her. I want her to trust me, as such relationships are founded on trust, a type of trust I could never break, because I care too much for her. Breaking that trust would make me the scum of the Earth. From there, I left and began to walk out of the hotel. 


	10. Stunning Betrayal!

#  Chapter 10: Stunning Betrayal! 

 

I walked out of the hotel, leaving it behind me as I had looked forward and seen that-the-royal-carriage had arrived outside the front of the hotel I had stayed the night at. I stepped up into-the-royal-carriage, and took my seat. The-royal-carriage-began-to-move, and I relaxed. Suddenly, I felt a sharp pain in my back, and I fell unconscious. 

 

I awoke with my vision dark and blurry. I heard some cackling around me, it was rather eerie. Slowly but surely my vision would focus, and I could so what was going on. My vision then focused, and I began to see what was going on. Actually, that wasn’t entirely true. Besides the light that made me able to see myself, I couldn’t see much else. Everything else was dark. I found I didn’t have much freedom in motion. It appeared my limbs were tied up. What happened? Was the-royal-carriage-my-mom-sent attacked? 

 

I began to hear a familiar voice in the from the in front of me. “Everest, nice of you to show up. We’ve been awaiting your arrival. You would be dead on said arrival, but unfortunately, we require you for something. You see, something of yours is rather valuable to us. That sword of yours is quite important to us. You haven’t unlocked it’s true potential yet, and we’ve brought you here to do so. Unfortunately, only you can do it, but our supposition is that after you have upgraded it we can still use it.” I realized where I was. I was taken to the Shrine of Sarasaland just as intended, but by someone more sinister by mistake. Being that I was tied up, I allowed my kidnapper to continue. After all, I was going to need to be unbound to do whatever it is these guys want me to do. 

 

A light shone from across the room. It was there I saw an alter with my Excalibur placed in it. “You see, a certain power can only be unlocked with that sword. If the sword were to be plucked from that stone, the power would become available to us. What we need you, Everest, to do here is to pluck the sword out of the stone scabbard. We then want you to drop the sword to the ground immediately, surrendering it to our power. Do you understand?” I was silent. I was still considering options to escape with my sword. “Failing to reply, huh? I guess we’ll just have to motivate you.” A light flickered on in between myself and the stone with my sword, but off to the right some as to leave the direct path for myself and the sword. “Everest! Help! Just do as they say, and we can run off together and be happy!” I looked over with a face of shock and terror. “Charlotte!” I screamed. Next to her was the kidnapper whom-had-been speaking to me. I then saw why I recognized the voice. It was Captain Falcon! He laughed at us. “Now, Everest, if you’d like her to remain unharmed, you must pull that sword, then drop it, as instructed.” Captain Falcon released me from my bonds. 

 

I walked over to the stone scabbard where my sword was. I took in a deep breath and sighed as I placed my hands over the hilt of the blade. Considering that the room was still mostly dark but the sections of light I was made allowed to see, I was likely surrounded by other grunts and henchman. My ability to survive this conflict was going to be based solely on the abilities granted by the Shrine here, and my ability to figure out how to use them effectively, quickly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Desciple of Hemingway Here!
> 
> Apologies for yet another delay. Content in this and the upcoming chapters have been hard for me to write due to battles with related personal issues. I thank you all for your patience. 
> 
> Desciple of Hemingway over and out!


	11. Stunning Betrayal, Part II!

#  Chapter 11: Stunning Betrayal, Part II!

 

My hands were on the hilt of what was supposedly the legendary sword Excalibur. I was being instructed to pull it, with not pulling it costing my life and the life of my life-partner-and-soul-bonded-companion. I really cared for my life-partner-and-soul-bonded-companion. Losing my life-partner-and-soul-bonded-companion was a-non-option. In pulling this, I hoped from the bottom of my heart that a solution would come to help me save my life-partner-and-soul-bonded-companion would be plucked out from this stone sheath. I slowly pulled my Excalibur out of the stone sheath and awaited to see what would happen. 

 

As I pulled out my Excalibur from the Stone Sheath, for a moment it seemed like all time stopped. The shock caused me to let go of the sword, but it stayed still, not dropping from where I let go. It appeared that time had truly stopped. I double took, and sure enough it appeared as if I had been the only thing not affected by the stopped time. A figure appeared in front of me and behind my Excalibur. It was the goddess of the World of Mother, the Princess Zelda! 

 

“Everest, it appears you have owned the legendary sword Excalibur of King Arthur fame for quite some time now… However, as it was the first of my combat creations, it is outdated now.” The Princess Zelda snapped, and Excalibur turned to dust. “However sad that may seem, fret not, young Everest, as I, The Princess Zelda of the World of Mother, have forged a new sword for you and only you to use. Don’t worry about those other guys, they won’t be able to use it at all. Now, this sword will enable you to turn invisible at will. Just think the command, and it will happen. Grasp the sword I’ve placed in the place of Excalibur, and I will begin to advance time again!” “Thank you Princess-Goddess-Zelda!” I grasped the sword and immediately willed myself invisible. 

 

I reappeared in the Shrine, except I didn’t really appear to be anywhere. I snuck around the room searching for the lightswitches. Meanwhile, everyone in the room was panicking because I was gone. I found the switches and turned them on. I then began stabbing everyone in the back and leaving them one by one until three remained. My dear Charlotte, the terrible Captain Falcon, and one other. I hadn’t paid him much attention to this point. I began to sneak up on the captain when I saw something horrifying. “Oh, Blain-y poo, how I love you. Was my acting convincing? Tee-hee! I can’t believe I used to love him. When you guys told me that, I was like, gagging!” Charlotte spoke these words. It was rather painful, but she had spent days in captivity. It’s entirely possible she was modified to have these feelings. I could return her to normal, I just knew it! I turned to who I now knew to be Captain Blain Falcon. He had done this to her. He would pay. 

 

I gutted Blain as I had done all the rest. I then reappeared to physical form and approached Charlotte. As I did, I was slashed with a whip. I cried out in pain, but the pain that hurt most was not physical. I struck her with the butt end of my sword, wincing and apologizing profusely as I did. I locked my sights on the remaining person here. 


	12. Stunning Betrayal, Part III!

#  Chapter 12: Stunning Betrayal, Part III!

 

I locked my sights on the remaining person here. I charged at them at full speed, pinning them down, ready to strike. When they turned around and looked up I hesitated. It was my first friend. Harrison lay before me as I have him pinned to the ground, me kneeling over him with my keeping my weight on my knees to pin him down. He looked at me with a look of panic on his face. “Get off of me right now!” He yelled, spitting in my face as he did. I panicked as well, but kept my composure. “Why did you stop wanting to hang out? I enjoyed our time together.” “You always brought that girl around, and it made me so uncomfortable. You treated me poorly and now we can never be friends. However, you can know that the boss was not Blain, and that I plan on returning to him. I will do anything to spite you. He also used a device called a Cross-Enhancer on Charlotte. It bends the victim to the will of the boss. That appears to be what happened to her. With that, I have no more time for games. I’m out.” Harrison then disappeared from under me, and appeared at the end of the shrine. From there, he ran out of the room. 

 

I took Charlotte to the nearest hospital I could to see if we could repair her mind. As I entered we were admitted under the Doctor Gordon Mario, the third and final of the Mario-Triplets. He was a well educated scientifically minded man, one whom I hope I could trust Charlotte’s life with. I spent hours waiting on the doctor to call me in with his prognosis. 

 

After hours of waiting, the doctor called me in with his prognosis. “Everest, I am unable to reverse her true feelings toward you and Blain. After a careful Brain Exam, it appears there is nothing to reverse. Subconsciously, even if she was not aware, these were always her true feelings. I’m sorry to inform you Everest, but I’ve done all I can do. Her physical wounds are healed, but she’ll never be the same person again. I can’t even reverse her loyalty to that boss you’ve heard about. 

 

I sat in silence for several minutes. What I thought was my one-true-love was a lie. It always was and always would have been. I can’t believe she’d lead me on like that all this time, having feelings for another despite our relationship status together. I even gave up my only friend for her. How cruel this world can be. 

 

Despite being in shock over this betrayal where Chloe lead me on all this time, I knew there was only one humane thing to do. I looked up to the doctor. “Gordon, if she can never be herself, then she basically isn’t living anymore. We have to do the humane thing here. I know you’ve been thinking-it too.” Dr. Gordon Mario replied back “Everest, I’m just glad you’re strong enough to be prepared for that. I dreaded informing you myself. I’ll prepare the injection.” 

 

Dr. Gordon Mario returned with the lethal injection the would give her a humane end to her life. She would suffer no more. This was the right thing to do, as nothing else could be done. The doctor then placed the needle in the same place where she had been attacked with the Cross-Enhancer. Slowly the liquid drained from the needle, and after a few minutes passed, Gordon checked for a pulse. “She’s gone now.” I cried into my hands. Goodbye forever Charlotte, I’ll miss you. 


	13. Getting Over It!

#  Chapter 13: Getting Over It! 

 

A week had past. My, had it been a long week. I’d done nothing but cry in my room throughout this entire week straight. My life-partner-and-soul-bonded-companion never loved me, and as a result I had to put her out of her misery, ending her cruel and pained life. Truly, woe is me. 

 

There was a knock at my door. I ignored it. I had a sign posted stating my clear desire to be left alone. I felt it was rather rude for an intrusion to occur at this time. Whoever was out there had best feel ashamed of themself. The door then opened. Had I not locked it? Good grief. Begrudgingly I asked “Who is it?” “Everest, you’ve got to come out. I know what happened to you and that really is unfortunate. You can’t just sit and wallow in your self pity! What would help you best is to figure out your new goal in life. You need something that matters enough to you that will give you meaning and drive to go forward. This can be anything. Just think about it!” The room sat in silence for a solid minute. “Well Everest, I know you’re in a bad place, so my hope is that these words I’ve spoken to you get through to you and you find some meaning again.” I heard the person step out and the door close. Whomever was here had left solid advice, not wanting to intrude too much despite their clear ignoring of my posted sign on my door. 

 

I sat for another few hours considering these words left by me the person I never looked to see who it was. Well, some of those hours were still me existing in self pity, but eventually I became aware enough to consider these words. Something to live for. A driving force to make me want to continue. Several more hours passed as I considered what was left for me. Often my mind raced in pointless circles, but finally, one thing came to me. This was the only thing that I could find that was left for me. 

 

In my quest to the Shrine, I encountered an old friend, a friend I had not known for quite some time. Harrison informed me of so much of the boss’ plan to take over the World. If he truly hated me and wanted to suffer, he would not have been so open with such information. If anyone has truly pure intentions, it may actually be him. I may not have been able to save Charlotte, but Harrison has hope. I will have to defeat his boss and the Cult of Red to save him. It’s the only way. 

 

“I will save you Harrison. No one had any faith in you, but I know you better than anyone else. You are a good man, and my friend. Not my former friend. We will be reunited.” 

 

I checked the Smash Database for potential members of the Cult of Red. Very quickly one caught my eye, and I set my plan into motion. As I cleaned myself to prepare for another long trip, I recalled that I no longer possessed what turned out to be indeed the Excalibur of legend. The Goddess that had gifted my new weapon to me had not christened it, so I decided to do it myself. The name instantly came to me as I began to consider it, and I whispered it under my breath. “Excelsior...”


	14. The Quest Begins Anew!

#  Chapter 14: The Quest Begins Anew! 

 

I’d dug through the Smasher’s database several times at this point. At this point I’d compiled a list of all the people in the database who could potentially be involved in the Cult of Red. At this moment there was only one I cared about, because I know enough about them to know that they are evil even if they aren’t a part of the Cult of Red. I would engage them either way. It needed to be done. There was no escaping it. 

 

I had actually been researching this person for a while now in my free time. This person… Actually, no. This thing has been of interest to me because they hurt a very close friend of mine. I know the late Charlotte never cared for this friend so I always hid this project from her, but I had to do it. I had to keep up to potentially give him vengeance. That is why I must do this. It is for this reason that I actually knew where to find them. 

 

I knew I couldn’t assault them at home, because they’d be fortified and capable of calling for backup. That would not work. However, as luck would have it, they were out on a business meeting. This meant I could attack them in their hotel, where they were vulnerable. They were in the central town where most events in the Smash League occured, so I could walk there myself. 

 

The hotel was actually a shitty little motel in the bad part of town. I knocked on the door. “Who is it?” an effeminate voice called from within. She took a rather seductive tone. This only strengthened my resolve. “It’s me, the hookup!” I called back in. “Can you come answer the door?” “All right, I’ll be there soon…” I knew my chance was coming, so I prepared my Excelsior, as her weak point would reveal itself soon. 

 

She opened the door and no one was there. “What the in the bloody heck is going on?” she said to herself. It was from there I stabbed her directly in the naval. She collapsed on the ground. “You’re Samus, correct?” I ask as I allow myself to become visible? “Y-Yes… A-and you?” She replied in kind. “A friend of someone you hurt. Now tell me everything you know about the Cult of Red!” “Well, there isn’t much for me to tell… I usually serve as a lady of the night for them, always for a price however. Perhaps they like that my battle gear fits with their motif, perhaps they all like blondes. I couldn’t really tell you. Whoever your friend is, you can tell them I’m sorry I hurt them! Just let me go and allow me to do my job!” “You can tell that to Harrison when you’re burning in hell!” I took the sword and drug it down her body from her naval, slicing the harlot’s more feminine qualities as well, a poetic justice I’m more than glad I could deliver on. 

 

I walked into her room and began to examine it. It was clear that a hookup was her business trip. Perhaps I’d wait around and see who it was that planned on coming over. She’d said herself that Cult of Red members regulared her, so it’d make sense to assume I’d find myself face to face with one if I waited. I cleaned up the disgusting corpse and hid it away in the motel closet. Meanwhile, I examined the room. It appeared she had brought her battle suit with her, but had not donned it. The red helmet mocked me. I punched the glass in and threw it in the closet as well. Then there was a knock at the door. 


	15. The Crashed Meets the Crasher!

#  Chapter 15: The Crashed Meets the Crasher! 

 

There was then a knock at the door. I knew if I answered myself, my cover would be blown. I needed a plan, and I needed that plan, and I needed that plan fast. It was then that a clear idea came to me. I grasped my Excelsior and allowed myself to be come invisible. I then answered the door. “Are you, uh, hiding somewhere? Oh, I see, this is some kind of warm-up game before we get to business. I think I like it!” The short man walked into the room. I could see it, was clearly a member of the Cult of Red. 

 

I slammed the door as he entered the room. “How’d you get the door to close like that? Kind of creepy if you ask me. Now where are you?” He wanders around for a minute as I sneak up to him. I pick him up from the ground by his antenna as he is that short and light. All the while, I am of course keeping myself invisible. “I want me to tell me who you are and what your relationship is with the Cult of Red.” “My name is Reginald Olimar, and I am a member of the Cult of Red, rank Captain. Is this a part of the warm up, because if so I want you to take my space suit off.” I slugged him with the base of my Excelsior. “That will not be happening, I am in charge here. Now, Reginald, tell me, what is it that keeps you in the Cult of Red? Why are you in it?” “I don’t care for talking about work, sweet cheeks, now slide this suit off of me, I’m starting to get uncomfortable with me you know what trying to leave this suit. It’s not comfortable!” I begin to slowly stab the point of my Excalibur in his back. “I’m not your broad, get the point? Now answer my question!” 

 

Reginald made a visible and audible gulp. “All right, all right. I’ll tell you, but only because I can’t figure out where you are! The boss owns a device called the Cross-Enhancer. This bends the will of it’s victims to the boss. However, there is a second effect. The victim will also fall hopelessly in love with the user. Of course, if the victim already loves the user, only the first effect will take place. My hope is to be allowed to use the Cross-Enhancer some day. I’d a love a woman to call my own. For now though, I usually use the company slut. She was supposed to be here anyway, where is she?” Reginald’s face began to swell into one of terror. “Well, if you’d really like to know, I’ll show you. Take a look for yourself!” I walk him to the closet and open the door. He goes silent for a second, but begins to scream. “God you’re annoying. Shut up!” I stab him in the back, let go of his antenna, sling him off my Excelsior into the closet with his purchased mate, shut the door, and leave him. From there, I leave the room.

 

I proceeded through town. It occurred to me I’d be on a rather violent streak lately. Those slain deserve it, sure, but the best heroes can conquer their enemies without extreme violence. I need to return to my roots. I also began thinking about what revived my journey. An intruder had woken me up. I complained to myself at the time, but I truly do owe them my thanks, and thankfully I think I know who it was. 

 

I returned to the hotel I stayed at before the horrible day. I walked in and approached the front desk. “No, I’m not really here to stay the night. I just wanted to thank you. Without you, I never would have left my darkest moment. You were there for me when I needed someone most, and I can’t think of a world without you now. Thank you.” She looked at me with her eyes widened, and her face soft. “Oh, Everest, you’re such a sweet heart. Perhaps you could stay the night, not here at the hotel, but with me? I’d really like to get to know you better.” I looked at her quietly myself, also in somewhat a sense of shock. I just nodded, and we talked until her shift ended. 


	16. Big Life Changes!

#  Chapter 16: Big Life Changes! 

 

Her shift had ended. It appeared she and I actually had a rather good chemistry. I was enjoying our time, but found myself somewhat uncomfortable. I was thinking back to what were similar feelings with Charlotte at one point and time. I long for those feelings, but also am paranoid and skeptical of them. 

 

Either way, she invited me to hang out with a friend of hers. “Isabelle, who’s your friend you brought?” A man asked as we walked up. I stopped for a second. I recognized this friend. Not only was he a potential member of the Cult of Red. Isabelle looked up at me and saw the way my face was concerned. “Everest, I’m aware of your background with this man, but he’s not the same anymore. He’s been through a lot. I’ll let him speak more for himself.” “Everest, it’s been a while. I am really sorry for everything I did to you back in the day. I’ve… been through a lot of personal changes, but those changes have allowed me to become basically an entirely different person. I’ve even been able to hold respectful yet completely platonic relationships with other women, including Isabelle here.” I was shocked. This was not the same Ganondorf I knew, one who stalked Charlotte until I made him know his place. Isabelle’s nodding approval spoke to me more than she knew. 

 

“I guess it’s safe to assume you’re not a member of the Cult of Red then?” Everyone laughed. “No, those guys are all losers. Remember that incel loser? I heard he was one of them too! Hilarious, right?” Both Elizabeth and Ganondorf laughed, but knowing who they were talking about I couldn’t laugh. I know they had a bad experience with Harrison, but I couldn’t help but feel bad. They saw this and the topic quickly shifted. 

 

After that awkward moment, the night was rather fun. I actually felt safe and at home in this new group of friends. It was a night I won’t soon forget. That is true for more reasons than that too. By the end of the night, Ganondorf would head home for the night. Isabelle had walked me to her home, just as initially promised. “So, uh, where will I sleep tonight?” I asked. At the time we were talking in her room still, sat rather closely to each other. “In the bed of course, silly!” This made me somewhat uncomfortable. “But… then where are you gonna sleep?” “The bed of course!” “So, we’re… sharing? That’s okay then.” I’d never done anything of the sort before, even with a guy friend at a sleepover. I’d always slept on the couch, in a chair, or on the floor. 

 

I was laid down in bed, and felt her slide in under the covers with me. “Hey, Every, wanna learn a new game?” she whispered softly in my ear. My whole body stiffened at the thought. “...Go on…” I said to her. She placed my hand on her body. She wasn’t covered. My mind was racing in all sorts of directions. Suddenly, my pajama bottoms began to slide off. I knew I wasn’t doing it, but I also knew I certainly wasn’t stopping it either. It was really going there, whether I was ready or not. Was I scared? Very much so. But I was also excited. I would leave the night a new man. A new man with a new love, who had decided she wanted to prove our love to each other, all within one night of finding out. I was ready. 


	17. Back to Business!

Chapter 17: Back to Business

 

The morning started to begin anew I slowly began to awake myself. Another morning of waking up dreadfully depressed, wallowing in my self pity. Truly, I was living what could only be considered my worst life. It was odd though, these blankets felt weird. They were very much unlike what I was used to. I know I bought new blankets to replace my old ones as I wanted to remove Charlotte’s scent from my bed, but I thought I had been too lazy to replace them before bed last night. I rolled over to look at my bedside clock. “11:23 AM?” I grumbled to myself. “Did I really sleep that incredibly late? What was I doing last night?” 

 

I slowly began to crawl out of bed, wracking my brain over what possibly could have happened. Perhaps this could be an attack from a member of the Cult of Red? Truly I was beginning to become concerned. What WAS it that I had forgotten? A healthy morning breakfast may satiate me. I wandered into the kitchen hoping my daily dose of early nutrition would activate my thought-processors. 

 

When I walked into the kitchen I saw a small yellow dog wearing nothing but a white-wife-beater-tanktop-shirt and a pair of really short-yet-comfortable-looking pair of gym shorts. In that moment I felt as if I had imploded. I saw every memory of every event that had ever occurred to me in sequential order, followed by the events of the last period of time involving my true sorrow a second time, followed by the events of the previous night a third time. My vision returned to Isabelle, who was still in the kitchen frying Bacon and Eggs, just as I had seen just before the odd surge of memory occurred. I felt a large sense of relief. There was no Cult of Red attack. I also felt the strangest sense of warmth in my chest. Despite all my hardships, I would become truly happy again. 

 

I looked at my new-life-partner-and-soul-bonded-companion. “Good morning, Izzy!” I said with a smile. I was just glad to be here. “Good morning, Every!” I leaned over her shoulder, carefully examining the Bacon and Eggs. Breakfast was looking to be delicious. I then heard a crash from the bedroom. “Izzy, I’ll be right back, I’ll check that out.” She smiled and nodded as I went to her Bedroom to check what had caused the noise. 

 

In the room was a strange robot, and upon his head was a small red dot that notated to allegiance of the bot. “Cult of Red…” I muttered to myself. Luck had it that he appeared damaged. This was especially apparent as he had not attempted to attack me, and I had just spent the past several minutes examining him. I left the room and informed Isabelle of what had happened. I ate breakfast with her and we slowly enjoyed our morning. If this robot was damaged from the fall into attempting to sneak into the house. After breakfast, we teamed up to attempt to modify this robot to our specifications. 

 

“Okay, Robot, tell us your identity and state your purpose.” I said to our robot. At this point we had been working for hours and were exhausted. I AM R.O.B. WHICH IS SHORT FOR ROBOT OR BOT, BECAUSE BOTH ARE ACCEPTABLE TITLES. He spoke very loudly and robotically which was annoyingly. “Okay Robot, tell us why you’re here.” Isabelle spoke. 


	18. Hammer Time!

#  Chapter 18: Hammer Time! 

 

Bot looked at us, his once musky red light now a bright light blue. He was truly our robotic buddy now. I WAS SENT BY THE CULT OF RED, OF WHICH I WAS FORMERLY PROPERTY OF. I BELONGED TO A RED HAIRED SWORDSMAN. HE IS STILL IN TOWN CURRENTLY. PERHAPS YOU CAN FIND HIM. HE TENDS TO STAY OVERDRESSED, SO HE STICKS OUT IN CROWDS. RATHER BADLY. HIS NAME IS ROY. STOP HIM AT ALL COSTS. 

 

I looked to Bot. “While we’re out, can you clean up this mess you made coming in? It’d be a great favor to us.” Immediately Bot propped up and began to clean the house. Isabelle and I smiled at each other. We left and went to look for the boy known formally as Roy. 

 

We were in the middle of the city that the hotel was located in, but instead in the downtown area. Bot’s wording implied he would attempt to hide in plain site, despite his ease in being pointed out. Very quickly we saw a caped man with a sword on his belt walking. We began to take action. Using my Excelsior I became invisible and snuck up behind grabbed him from behind, wrapping my arms around his. From there, I very carefully pulled him back into an eerily dark alley. Issabelle then smacked the side of his head with one of her miniature-mallets. “Izzy, this alleyway is rather unnerving. I’d like to finish this up soon. How should we handle this member of the Cult of Red?” She swung her hammer with a swift thwack across his skull. Roy began to bleed profusely. “Izzy… is this really necessary? We haven’t even interrogated him, he might not even be a legitimate member of the Cult of Red. Think about Ganondorf!” “Every, don’t worry about it, I just want to protect you after all! Robot said he was anyway so it’s okay!” Isabelle took another strong swing at him, to which Roy reacted with the explosion of his skull. Luckily the blood passed right through me because I was invisible, but Isabelle wasn’t as lucky. She was absolutely covered in the dense red matter. 

 

“Oh my gosh Izzy what are we gonna do!?” Suffice to say I immediately started to panic. Things were headed both south and downhill, and this descent was going fast. “Don’t worry baby, I always keep a clean red towel on me just in case something like this were to happen!” She wiped herself clean and we both left down the other end of the alley. 

 

We returned back to Isabelle’s house, and the place was completely spotless. “Wow Robo, you really outdid yourself. Good job!” I praised Bot for his work. THANK YOU MASTER, BUT I MUST REMIND YOU THAT MY NAME IS ROBOT OR BOT. THANK YOU. “Yikes, he’s sassy! I like it!” Isabelle and I laughed, but Robot did not, because robots cannot have emotions, seeing as they are not people. 

 

Isabelle prepared an excellent dinner and we had a splendid night. I saw her talking to Bot for a second. Robot then approached me. PER THE REQUEST OF MISTRESS ISABELLE, I WILL BE STAYING THE NIGHT IN THE MAIN LIVING ROOM AREA. YOU HAVE A GOOD NIGHT, MASTER EVEREST. I’m not oblivious, so I knew instantly that Izzy had a surprise in store for me. I left for the bedroom prepared to ‘go to bed’. 


	19. Chapter 19: Vital Information!

Chapter 19: Vital Information! 

I awoke to yet another lovely breakfast this morning, this time served by my good friend and personal servant, Robot Or Bot. Flapjacks from the skillet it appears to be. The sizzle is music to my ears and they smell quite divine at that, too. Isabelle had left a note on the nightstand, one that had read and informed me of her absence today. It appeared that I had to find my own entertainment today. 

 

I decided to continue my own personal hunt for the remaining members of the Cult of Red. This list was running quite low. I must be close to their leader. Of my options I decided to check out this one who appeared to be a more-og-grunt-like-status-looking-fellow. This should fill in the time between the final fight with the boss rather neatly, so it made the most sense, after all. 

 

` He appeared to be living in a shelter for the less fortunate. It was an unfortunate fate, so I will likely approach kindly, hoping he is not truly a member of the Cult of Red. I suppose I should go and visit him. 

 

“Incineroar, you have a visitor!” a call went sent out from the helpless shelter’s intercom. A decrepit large looking cat like creature waddled out to the main room, and sat down in the Lay-Z Boy armchair next to mine. “So, Incineroar, does the name ‘Cult of Red’ mean anything to you?” Incineroar’s face drooped down more than it was when he got here. “Oh, I suppose I’ll let you in on that, if you’d like to know, but that was something I was involved in many years ago.” He pulled out an old, wrinkled, dusty Cult of Red Badge using an outdated design. If he was a member before, it’s safe to assume he isn’t now. “Am I putting you in danger but meeting with you in this manner?” I ask all concerned like. “Perhaps, but that no longer matters. You will end them, end the suffering of others like me. 

 

The air was very still and seconds felt like minutes. What felt like an hour passed in awkward dead silence, neither of us were prepared to continue. Incineroar finally spoke up. “I suppose I’ll come fully clean. I used to be a scientist for the Cult of Red. You see, the crux of the Cult of Red’s power is their Cross-Enhancer. All of their members are controlled by the boss through it, and all can be saved by the destruction of the Cross-Enhancer that was used to gain control of them. Only the boss is truly evil. There are people involved in this you can save. I trust you Erverst. End this; for God’s sake please end this!” The former cult scientist fell from his Lay-Z Boi armchair and collapsed face-first-onto the floor. 

 

“Hey, what the heck is going on?” I exclaimed angrily. I looked down at him and noticed that the back of his head had been scorched. Someone had thrown fiery projectiles at his head, and they had burned into his brain. He was dead. Unfortunately, I had failed to save him. 

 

The funeral for Incineroar was the next day. I was shocked to see my mothers there. They were usually too busy for this type of event. The Princess Daisy was crying into her wife’s shoulder as she attempted to comfort her. I put the pieces together as it all dawned on me. I smiled. Perhaps there is more to my mothers than I realize. 

 


	20. Chapter 20: The Dark Return!

#  Chapter 20: The Dark Return!

My mission had been on hiatus for five months now. Since the untimely passing of the Princess Daisy, my mother, I have been forced to go into hiding. In that time I have come to many conclusions about myself, the people I interact with, and the world around me. I finally understand why Harrison had left me all that time ago. It truly was my fault. Everything that has gone wrong in my life is due to the various relationships I’ve held at different levels. The base level of relationship, familial, is one I always knew was failing me. My mothers were never there for me. Those heartless cunts quite frankly gave no care in the world to me, only their occasional dates and their job. My first girlfriend that I had thought taught me what true love was, Charlotte, was only a whore who had only maintained her presence around me to hurt me in the most vulnerable way possible. And finally, there was Isabelle. That is why I’m in hiding currently. After my mother, the Princess Peach of the Mushroom Kingdom, gained military control of Sarasaland following the untimely death of her wife, she had an investigation done. It became abundantly clear that the sloppy job was done by my excrement rag. This lead to Isabelle taking over Sarassaland in a coup de ‘tat. The nations then waged war, with it ending in my mother and I both going into hiding. I have now realized what Hayden had long ago. Women are the heartless, evil scumbags of this world. In order for this world to remain happy, these women must be used by men for self gratification and population, lest the world be plunged into an anarchistic chaos. If only I hadn’t been so foolish and realized this sooner. Please forgive me, my best friend. I only wish to return to you in your good graces. 

 

I’d had this time to think as I trained. I was not powerful enough to destroy two entire armies, but perhaps now I was. Since then, my Excelsior had evolved into a new blade made of pure blue flames named Aquamarine. With it and my increased skills, surely I could overcome the two-armies. 

 

My instincts told me that Isabelle was sitting upon my living mother’s former throne. I charged to the Mushroom Kingdom, where it was indubitably so that no one could stop me. The weaker foes ran from me, seeing my power first hand, while the stronger foes were quickly slashed away, their skin melting instantly upon contacting with my flaming blade. Upon reaching the top of the castle I kicked down the door with my awesome strength. 

 

“It appears we meet again for the last time! I’ve gotten all the use I needed out of you, but now you’re loose and used up. After your continued treachery, I must put you death for your sins, you sinister cow!” Isabelle only laughed maniacally in response to this. She then pulled a leaver that caused hydrogen-di-oxide to pour from the ceiling. Predictably, the heat from Aquamarine boiled all of it instantly, but now I was blinded. The steam made it impossible to see her in the room. I chuckled sly, and could feel the fear coming from her as she realized that I had an ace hidden upon the underside of my shirt sleeve. I pressed the button located underneath the hilt of Aquamarine. The blade’s flame tripled in size, and the room heated up to such an intensity that the steam gas transformed from the gas state of matter to the plasma state of matter, clearing my vision once again. I then feigned moving my sword over by accident, and with the triped size, it reached her in the room, and with the current heat, her body evaporated into thin air. The Mushroom Kingdom was now mine to rule. 


	21. Chapter 21: Halls of Memory!

#  Chapter 21: Halls of Memory! 

 

Now that I had taken over the Mushroom Kingdom, all troops belonging to the Kingdom falling under my control now. I felt it odd that I only received resistance from one army despite this though. Clearly, someone else was in control of the Sarasaland army. Isabelle in her female foolishness had clearly lost control. I would have to trek there on my own to discover what might have happened to the next kingdom of my birthright. 

 

Upon finding my way to the entrance of the kingdom I found that there was no resistance at all. Astonishingly odd. My gut feeling declared that there was clearly a powerful force here, and that I was not only not alone, but being watched. I ultimately decided that it was indeed necessary to take caution and watch my back is I couldn’t be sure as to what may be stalking me, and how powerful this pursuer could be at that as well, let alone the erie idea that whoever was following might be rather strong as well. 

 

I entered the castle in record time, still rather unnerved by the emptiness of my surroundings. The once colorfuls halls of ginger nostalgia now felt drab and grey/gray, and now I can’t help but be disturbed. An even more disturbing thought occured to me. Did the Cult of Red manage to take the kingdom of Sarasaland away from Isabelle in my five-month’s-leave? 

 

I trekked onward to the throne room. I was almost there. I had flashbacks of my mothers treating me to a tour as I climbed the last flight of stairs. Those shrivs were so self absorbed that partnered as gay women to deprive men of their source of reproduction. Truly tragic. 

 

I saw a red-hat-wearing-person whose whole body was enveloped in shadow sitting upon the throne. On either side of them was a henchman. Both were facing directly away from me, so I could not make out to whom they were very clearly. The shadowy figure spoke. “Well, Everst, it’s rather lovely of you to show up finally. Hopefully now you’ll fall under the foot of the Cult of Red. Luckily for you, we’ve just inducted a new member. To test their loyalty, I’ll have them face you in mortal combat. That is, combat that will end in one of your mortal lives falling to a close!” The shadowy figure upon the throne laughed menacingly, and the figure to his left turned around. 

 

“Or course you’d work with the Cult of Red, you’ve always been working against my best interests!” In front of my was the former Princess Peach, former ruler of the Mushroom Kingdom, a land now ruled by me. “You know I took over your kingdom, you failure of a monarch!” I scoffed at her, but she returned scoff. “You moronic boy. Your mother had always been a member of the Cult of Red! She placed a system of checks down to make sure if she lost control the Cult Leader could usurp power. Now that she’s gone I’ve decided to take her place. As you can see, I’ve dyed my hair a matching ginger, not only in honor of the life she lived, but the excellent taste of her hair, if you know what I mean!” She coyly winked at me. I nearly threw up. This is why lesbianism should be illegal, clearly. I saw combating her was inevitable, so I drew my Aquamarine.   


	22. Chapter 22: Mortal Combat!

#  Chapter 22: Mortal Combat!

 

I decided I would watch for her move first, and counter-attack-accordingly. Out from under her dress, Peach pulled a turnip with a disgusting looking face out of… well… somewhere. Disgusting. Is she utilizing some sort of homosexual fungal disease and weaponising it? As she throws it at me, I slice it in half with Aquamarine. This also happens to cook out the bacteria and disease, so in a power move, I pick up a piece and take a bite out of it. I throw the piece I did not eat aside, treating it like the garbage it is, and spit the chunk I consumed in her general direction. “Is that all you have? Pathetic!” 

 

This clearly struck a nerve with her as she then immediately came charging forward at me. This was such a foolish move on her part. I cackle as I prepare to end her. I run forward at her as well and slide under her between her legs. I thrust Aquamarine right where that sickly turnip came from and the former Princess Peach then explodes into several chunks of flesh across the throne room. 

 

The shadowy figure upon the throne lightly chuckles. “I must say, I’m impressed. I didn’t think you’d be able to handle that fight. To brutally murder your mother in cold blood during mortal combat? That doesn’t seem like a heroic action to me.” “Tsshhhh,” I reply. “She deserved what happened to her for her crimes against men in nature. Women like her need to know their place. It only took me all my life to understand the only real social hierarchy myself.” The minion on the otherside of the throne seemed to perk up as I spoke. “Unfortunately for you, this isn’t the last of my minions. My last attack has only just begun! The lost of the purely red-topped members sans myself! Bowser! I summon thee!” 

 

From above a spike-shelled-turtle-man fell. Great, another round of mortal combat? I’m beginning to grow tired of this. The great turtle-man attempted to breathe hot red flames directly onto me, which was, of course, the worst thing he could have done. I held my Aquamarine directly up to his fire, and it began to absorb his fire. I did this until he could no longer breathe fire. This also powered up my sword more. I then flashed my sword, doing a fancy handling spin technique with it. This activated the flame counter that had also been set up in the power up sequence. Not only would I permanently keep this power up, but Bowser then received all the damage that could have been taken by his flame breathe, of which he used all of. In a mere-minute, he was a pile of char on the ground, handily toasted. 

 

“I see you have one more? Are you going to sycke him at me, or will you fight me directly like a man?” I challenge this shadowy figure. He stands up. He walks forward, and out of the shadow. It is revealed to me that the leader of the Cult of Red is none other than Mario himself. 

 

“I see… the same time Harrison left me was also the same time he became infatuated with you! You used the Cross-Enhancer on him! I also know that you’re who torched Incineroar. Based on that I can deduce that you have fire powers too! You can see how that went for your buddy over there. Do you think you can take me on?” 

Mario chuckled. “Luckily, I don’t have to. Harrison, he’s yours.” The remaining figure facing the opposite direction turned around. I feel to my knees. 


	23. Chapter 23: Happily Ever After!

#  Chapter 23: Happily Ever After!

 

This might be the one fight I could not feasibly win. This had nothing to do with my strength, agility, or any other physical attribute of mine. This was purely an emotional weakness. I could not fight my one true love. 

 

Harrison approached me. “Look, I know we used to be friends, so I’m going to allow you to stand up and take a fighting stance.” I crawled back onto my feet. Slowly, I drew my sword. I channeled Excelsior and turned myself invisible, but because Aquamarine was different, the sword itself manifesting as an orange flare now, the coldest of all flames. This had nothing to do with invisibility diminishing the strength of the sword. Rather, my emotional strength was at a minimum, so the strength of the sword would reflect. Harrison punched the sword, causing it to shatter into several irrecoverable pieces. I became visible again, and collapsed on the ground, feeling the full force of the blow. I lay on the ground and wept. Harrison then pulled out the Cross-Enhancer. “The power to gain undying-loyalty, and perhaps a lover, should I so desire as I’m using it. I’m the first and only underling to ever be trusted with its power this freely. How empowering!” Harrison then smiled. He then crushed the Cross-Enhancer in his hand. I gasped, as I was breathless. How did he manage to free himself? This was unprecedented! 

 

“Impossible! I personally used that on you, how did you free yourself?” Mario was furious. “Everst freed me when he came to the truth. It allowed me to come to terms with our troubled past, and encouraged me to reform that bond. I also realized a couple of other things.” Harrison helped me to my feet. “First, Everest and I WILL kick your ass!” Harrison kicked Mario in the groin, causing him to fall to the ground. I then began to repeatedly curb stomp his face. Harrison began to balance on Mario’s groin with both feet, hopping off and on them for maximum damage. Mario horrifically scream for several minutes as this continued. As the screaming stopped, we decided we needed to ensure Mario was gone. We each took opposite ends of Mario’s body and pulled until his head slowly became disconnected from his body, each artery and bone popping and disconnecting one at a time. We then embraced in a warm hug. As I cried he patted my back and assured me everything would be okay. 

 

We stopped hugging. The only piece of Aquamarine still in tact was the hilt. This was lucky. “Is it still in there?” I was panicking a little, but knew it would be okay long term. “Ahha!” I pulled it out of the hilt’s secret compartment. “Harrison, I know this is pretty gay, but we don’t need women for what we want.” I kneeled down on one knee. “Harrison, I would be honored if you would be my husband. I didn’t know feeling this way was possible to another man. I’ve never found myself physically attracted to one, but I’ve realized that that doesn’t matter. If I can get physical pleasure from women that utter repulse me, than with someone I care about, that doesn’t even matter.” Harrison smiled, looked at me with a warm smile, and nodded. 

 

We exchanged another long hug, and he slipped the engagement-ring onto his finger. Together, we would rule these dual kingdoms as my moms had, but the right way this time. Living a life where no women can harm us, it would be our peaceful happily ever after. 

_**THE END** _


	24. Chapter 24: Afterwards!

#  Chapter 24: Afterwards! 

 

Desciple of Hemingway here to thank you all for reading my first and, truth be told, last fanfiction to be honest! 

 

I’ve been writing “Ultimate Smashing Adventures!” for almost seven months at this point. A LOT has changed since then. I’ve had two very bad girlfriends, and lost family since then. My full understanding of the situation is that my most recent ex was responsible for that, and no one has any idea of where she is. My remaining mother and I have a restraining order on her, but have concerns that it won’t matter given the ex’... nature. 

 

The story was meant to express my love for a game played with a dear friend of mine while being a less professional outlet for me to practice writing. You guys must know the old saying too, write what you know, and I’d like to think I did that. I’d love to see rating and opinions in the comments below! 

 

Lastly, and this is the most important part, readers please, this is kind of an intimate section, so if you aren’t Hayden, please avert your eyes, as this is for him to read, and I currently don’t know how to reach him: 

 

Hayden, I’m confident you’ve been reading this. I know you. I know what that sniveling little bitch Calvin did to you. That was not appropriate in the slightest. He clearly was not your friend. I however, truly do want to be your friend. It was inappropriate of me to bring a girl over to play Smash with us. It was especially repugnant of me to have kissed her in your house that one time, the reason I’m sure this happened. The multiple instances of sex with the murderous girlfriend were not worth it either. While it did establish my dominance and control of women and my ability to put them in their place, It was not worth the sacrifice of my pride in my treatment of her like another man. In reality, she did nothing for me another man couldn’t do. I’ve learned from my mistakes Hayden. Please forgive me. I truly do love you and wish for you to be in my life. Our relationship does not even have to be sexual in nature, although it can be if you want to. Due to my expert experience with Elizabeth I can comfortable play either role for you as well happily. Please, allow us both the comfort of having a partner always being there for you. I know this is kind of gay, but I think I’m in love with you man. Please, let’s make up and go back to how things were. Thanks. 

 

It is now appropriate for normal readers to continue reading again. 

 

Desciple of Hemingway Over and Out! 

  
  
  
  


-Ernest Szylak III


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